Fighting the Urge to Quit Writing

Bonus Article: What Keeps Me Going?

There are two secret thoughts in the back of every writer’s mind.

“I can’t stop.”

and

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Almost every writer I’ve spoken to since picking up my own pen has confessed this same struggle, and it’s one I share. These thoughts take many forms, limited only by the creativity of the mind that created them. The more I train myself to forge new ideas, the more adept I become at encouraging and discouraging myself.

I’ve abandoned at least as many articles as I’ve written, and I’ve researched many more. On one hand, it feels like I have a limitless wellspring from which to draw; on the other, it raises an uncomfortable question; does that mean much of what I write is useless?

Stranger still, I never seem to know which articles will do well. Of the top ten on my site, I was absolutely sure nine of them were going to fail. In perfect contrast, one of my worst performing articles of all time was one I was sure would take off. Not only that. I published it not once, but twice! Even the name, “Taking Up Arms Against the Dragon” is amongst the most clickbaity titles I’ve ever come up with. Yet, in the three years since it first came out, it has received my tenth lowest view count of all time.

Over the course of 150 articles—now 151—I’ve learned not to think too much about how I think they will perform. Some are evergreen, receiving fresh views or listens every day since their publication. Others, not so much. One of the most common pieces of advice given to writers is to kill your darlings¹, but I’ve found that the truth is even harder. You have to release your darlings into the world, and let others kill them for you.

I don’t know which articles will resonate most with you. I don’t know how long you’ll continue to read on. So why keep writing? I was recently asked about the biggest thing God has taught me through my writing. It took me less than a second to identify it.

Nothing will ever be enough.

It won’t be enough for my readers. It will never be enough for me. I’ll never reach the perfect number of likes, or subscriber counts, because that goals will continue to shift as long as I live. I recently sent a book proposal to a publisher, and so I had to find out how many people had read my work in the last twelve months. I won’t share that number, but as I wrote it down, I became breathless. If I’d achieved that number just two years ago, I would have been astonished. I tried to remember the person I was back then—To be thankful on his behalf that I’ve gotten to this place.

I’ve changed a lot since I was him.

What hasn’t changed though, is my purpose.

“Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever,” says the Westminster Shorter Catechism. My aim is for everything I do, everything I write, to serve God in that Spirit. Enjoyment is infectious though. I sat with a young child recently and we made a lego set together. It was the second time we’ve done this together, and this time his Dad was there to join us. After we’d finished, he hugged his Dad and said, “This has been the best day ever!” Hyperbole, I’m sure, but I smiled all the way home.

I don’t want to sit piecing together articles, whilst you read on, unmoved.

My hope is that whilst I give God glory, and search through the joys of his boundless love, that you would find yourself stirred to do that same.

I’m not interested in making a name for myself, but in making God’s name great.

Nothing will ever be enough.
Nothing, except God himself.

That’s why I keep writing. I can’t stop.

The longer I stare up at God, the more I get to know him. The further into his word I delve, the more my pen starts to jitter. Not every word I write on the Raven’s Writing Desk will resonate. Who knows, maybe this article will fail too! None of that matters though if it glorifies him. I will never enjoy being a writer as much as I enjoy being a child of the Most High God. He has given me this one talent to work with.

God forbid I ever bury it in the sand.

Grace and Peace,

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The Raven's Writing Desk

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