"Why Do I Write?" A Conversation With My Younger Self
Five Years On
I’ve been reflecting recently on almost five years writing this newsletter1. One of the very first articles I ever wrote was aptly named, “Why Do I Write?” and while I still reflect on some of those same themes in my work today, I haven’t actually read the article since it was first published.
It remains to this day one of my lowest rated articles of all time2, but its continued presence on my site made me wonder how much I’ve changed in my thinking since then. Should the article still remain live, or would I have significant notes for my younger self if I could speak to him today? Today, I thought I’d reshare that article with you all, five years on, but add my current thoughts throughout for you to peruse at your leisure. How much would we all do differently if we could go back five years?
What advice would you have, if you went back to spoke with the you that existed back in 2020?
Adsum (2020): After eight years away from civilisation, Gawrila Sarytschew stood before Alexander I and unfolded for him mysteries only he could share. Since 1785 he, along with his crew, had lived on the predominately unexplored Frozen Ocean of Siberia, boldly going where no man had gone before. Expecting his findings to be delivered to a select few or remain confined to his own mind, instead, he found his job was not yet over. At the Tsar’s behest, all that he had found was to be chronicled, a gift to all the peoples of Russia and the World.
Adsum (2025): First off, it was bold of younger Adsum to assume that an anecdote about Russia would age well… Secondly, in all honesty, I still love this story, and I’m glad I chose it. I dare you to try and say his name three times fast though. My only gripe is that I chose to break up the story in the way that I did. You find the middle and the end later in the article, but at the time I was less well versed with modern writing styles. The majority of my reading was from the 16th Century or prior, and so a long drawn out metaphor was commonplace in my understanding. In 2020 that was no longer the case, much less so today in 2025!
Adsum (2020): Love for the Creator
“These sketches are… evidences of God's love, for oft have they come just at the moment when, had they tarried, I had been undone.”
A Doxology, C.H.Spurgeon
Even now, sitting down to write, I can feel the eyes of the Lord on my heart, searching me as only he who truly knows me can, a phenomenon Spurgeon’s verse above describes.
I found this doxology in the back of a book of Spurgeon’s sermon skeletons, which might surprise many who think sermons are for the edification of the congregation alone.
Imagine though if I, when cooking for my household, were to serve a different meal each night for myself than for everyone else because I don’t find that meal nourishing enough, or that I need something better. It would hardly instil confidence.
I believe the same is true of the preacher.
“I rejoice in the way revealed by your decrees as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts and think about your ways.
I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.”
CSB, Psalm 119:14–16.
I’m, rather unfortunately, sure you’ll know what it’s like to hear a preacher whose voice, delivery, or hermeneutics betrayed a lack of love for the content being delivered, or even for the Lord himself. I’ve also known those who’ve hoped that by simply mustering up artificial affections they might be better able to serve the Kingdom, but to no avail.
The same is true of writing.
The verse above illustrates a love for the Lord’s ways, precepts and statutes not for the benefit of onlookers, but as an expression of the Psalmists love for the Lord.
It has, however, been life-giving throughout the ages to those reading them, not because of conjured emotions, but of a true and inspiring love for the Creator.
Adsum (2025): I’m, rather unfortunately, sure you’ll know what it’s like to read an article that required further editing! If you hadn’t before today, you certainly have now. I don’t disagree with my sentiment here, but my delivery is incredibly poor.
What was I trying to say?
I write for myself before I write for you. If I don’t think it will edify me, why should I ever expect it to do so for you?
There 2020 Adsum, I fixed it for you, back over to you.
Adsum (2020): Love for the created
“As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love…This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you.”
CSB, John 15:9,12
Sarytschew was able to document the events of his expedition not because he had them memorised, but because he had “made it [his] daily practice to note down … everything worthy of observation, without any intention, however remote, of committing [his] remarks to the press.” My writing, like Sarytschew’s, shouldn’t primarily be the passing on of information, but rather an expression of the wonders found in He who is eternally worthy of observation. I deviate from Sarytschew though in this; that I simply cannot abide by keeping it to myself.
Have you ever considered the five separate commands in the new testament to “greet one another with a holy kiss” Though a long-abandoned practice, imagine what it would look like if our actions and words felt like holy kisses, what a difference that would make.
After all, we are commanded to love one another, despite our differences and the stakes are so high.
Scripture reveals that “by this everyone will know that [we are] disciples, if you love one another”
Why then does Evangelical social media culture and the blogosphere seem to delight so readily in not just the pointing out of heresy, but even in the mischaracterisation of those whose beliefs differ only on secondary or tertiary issues.
Though we are to rebuke, discipline, or correct, we must do so in love.
Our task after all doesn’t find its origin in the court of the Tsar, but from the throne of the Almighty, not a far off mystery, but the greatest news ever known to man.
Adsum (2025): A few weeks ago I sat down with a new writer, to discuss an article he’d recently released. That one article contained about fifteen different ideas, fleshed out about as succinctly as you might imagine. I suggested that next time he had an idea, to write it down, and explore that one idea alone without any distractions. Then, move onto the next idea. So on. So forth.
I ran into the very same issue here in this portion of the article.
This is three separate articles AT LEAST!
404: Memory Retrieval Error - Writing Our Way to a Better Memory
K-I-S-S-I-N-G: The Christian Way of Loving One Another
The Court of the Almighty: Accuser vs the Redeemer, Whose Side Are You On?
I wish I’d completely gotten out of this habit, but I still find myself chasing rabbits sometimes. Hopefully not quite so many these days though.
Adsum (2020): Why do I write?
I pray that my writing would worship God and love others.
That being the case, let every article, message and tweet (especially those) bend under the weight of that love and if they can’t bear it, break beneath it. Do not allow the scratch of my pen or the tap of my keys to be dictated by anything else.
To do so would be to eschew the gospel I’ve been tasked with delivering, for a forgery which pales in comparison.
To the glory of your name,
A.T Ravenhill
Adsum (2025): Yes! Best part of the article by far. This yesteryear prayer is one I could happily echo today, and every single tomorrow, until the end of my days.
All in all though, I’m glad I wrote, reread, and revisited this article. It is a helpful reminder of how far I’ve come, but also of the missional mindset with which I began this journey. Adsum (2020) had a lot to learn, and Adsum (2025) does too.
I guess I’ll see you in another five years, for:
“Why Do I Write?" pt.III A Conversation With My Younger Selves”
by Adsum Try Ravenhill (2030)
Grace and Peace,
Recommended Media of the Week
I just finished a book I’d been waiting on for almost a decade. The series is long, extremely entertaining, and is written from too many different viewpoints to count. The final book in the series has long promised to answer the multitude of questions posed by the previous books and…it barely scratched the surface. I sunk hundreds of hours into the series, and dozens into this book and it just didn’t cut it in the end.
has had similar questions around the books we spend our time with recently. Check out his thoughts—which are far clearer than my own—here:After becoming the first civilian ever to pass the French Foreign Legion recruitment tests, Magnus Midtbø went a step further, and completed the final days of training with a band of brothers about to be inducted into the mysterious army regiment. When he began, he stood with thirty other men, by the end there were only eighteen. well worth a watch if you’re looking for some encouraging content today.
Unsurprisingly, given my relatively small audience at the time.
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This was such a fun article reading the conversation between yourself and seeing how much you’ve grown! I look forward to the next five years!